Credit: Chetireche represents videoproject NeTV.
Credit: presenter heading "let`s laugh together"
The text: Hello! On air a heading "let`s laugh together". One, two, three - wipe
up your ass. Ha-ha-ha.
Credit: Life is full of dangers
Running credits - above film worked
( further the not readable, quickly flying text)
The end
Credit: Gymnastics
The text: Hi! Let`s begin morning gymnastics.
Prepare your left hand, prepare your right hand, have stand in a starting
position. And one, and two, and three, and four. Once again. And one, and two,
and three, and four. Checking charge level.
The text: Stay still, bitches! Stand still! (illegible exclamations are audible)
Don`t move! Don`t move! On a floor, on a floor, bitch!
The text: New wave of violence has swept on our city. Now it is unsafe not only
to leave on street but also to remain at home. The next page in a history of a
criminal case.
Subtitle: Interview to the responsible person.
The text: - it is clear...
Due to strengthened front-searching measures it was revealed and neutralized
well organized group of cases-murderers. Whom?
- Cases-murderers.
- Whom-whom?
- Cases-murderers.
- Group of cases-murderers. Now we`ll show you a film being a material
evidence... Cases-murderers.
Subtitle: Material evidences.
The text: Go back from mine garbage can, bitch!
The text: With what all began.
Subtitle: District militia officer
The text: I, as the divisional of houses 42, 36 and 18, for a long time have
paid attention to strangenesses occuring in the house 53, namely in an apartment
186. Often change of tenants, and also strange hearings - have drawn my
attention. And I have addressed where follows.
And work was started by experts in struggle against cases-murderers. Everything,
yes? And on what channel will show?
The text: Meanwhile the witness has appeared.
Subtitle: The witness
The text: (illegible text)... And to him... In common... A! Ou! Well there...
And on what channel will show? Will be, will be? And that? Fuck where...? Fuck
yourself! What! What! What!?
Credit: A search
Offscreen text: As a result of a search of an apartment 186, two human hands,
one head, three feet and half of forehead with the rests of soft light hair were
found out.
Credit: Interrogation
The text: - How long do you know each other? Name exact quantity of victims.
- And where is this third studio?
- Will you reply?
The text: But our security services not are not born yesterday. With no trouble
not to pull out a fish from a pond. The majority rules. Seven times measure -
one cut.
Subtitle: The representative of our security services
By development of this operation in an apartment 186 we have introduced the
employee who worked there under a kind of a stool.
Subtitle: Special agent
The text: It was easily possible to me to get external similarity to a stool,
but to remember a legend appeared not easily. But I shall try now to tell it. On
a high-high mountain...
The text: - We managed to contact the employee of the press-service who will
clear a situation up to the end. OK.
- At present the information on groups of cases-murderers is processed by us,
all revealed groups of cases-murderers are neutralized by us. The new
information on occurrence of similar groups - did not act.
The text: So the next group of cases-murderers is neutralized. It would seem it
is possible to sleep quietly, but is it whether necessary to calm down. What
will be farther? Probably...
Credit: The life is full of dangers
Hello, it is a heading "The life is full of dangers" and I am with you again,
the adviser for extreme situations, Petr Petrovich Adrenaline. There can be
everything with you in life, everything.
Credit: above film worked
( further the not readable, quickly flying by text)
The end
The text:
- Alexander Sergeevich will be? Ok. And Fedor Mikhailovich? Means so. If
tomorrow I shall not see Fedor Mikhailovich... You understand that.
Lev Nikolaevich... And... Anton Pavlovich. In a today's literary duel take part
Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoi and Anton Pavlovich Chehov. Anton Pavlovich, what you
have prepared for arguments to today's literary duel?
- I have prepared for today my play "The Cherry Garden".
- Lev Nikolaevich, your arguments?
- "The War And The World "
- That arguments quite powerful. We shall start the duel.
The today's literary duel was won by Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoi.
The text:
- Muflon, Muflon...
- Yeah, Gadron, spilled out, excuse me. Snow in the summer... It is terrible...
- Simple shift. One fog of the eighth density to Madrid... Yes, Red?
Credit: Founders of a telecast do not bear the responsibility for weather in
your city
- Madrid, a fog, the eighth density... I have gone.
Credit: Any responsibility
- Has accepted... Come on...
( Above a door an inscription "Workshop of precipitation")
From what shelf this bank you took?... It is essence, and to Madrid it is
impossible...
- And what we gonna do?
- You confused the banks, so get out yourself.
- Clearly... Moscow... Berlin... Ou! London... London, London.
- Hello.
- A fog you will take?
- Hello. What? What?
- Yes I know, I know, but such situation at us, have cooked on thirty four. Well
all right, it wouldn`t be the first time for you. Well help.
- Only solar weather! Only solar weather! Only solar weather!
- Thanks. Accept.
- Red.
- Oh My God. I can not believe in it. Oh, no. No, no, no! No, no, no! (a
untranslatable revolution)
Credit: BBB NEWS
The text: Hello, on air BBB NEWS. The main news of day: the Great Britain is an
island. Also it is the main news of day.
Credit: BBB NEWS advertising
The text: The Plate. Add meal and you eat!
The text: - You have taken a tomato, why?
- Because I love tomatoes.
- What you disturbs?
- Cases-murderers, doctor.
- Tell to me about them.
- About whom?
- About tomatoes. You have taken a tomato, instead of a cucumber.
- I have already eaten a cucumber.
- How? You today have eaten a cucumber?
- Yes
- Wonderfully. But they are completely various under the form.
- The form for me not the main thing.
- This is your mistake... My dear, you are terribly sick. Where it hurts?
- Nowhere.
- It can`t be so.
- It hurts, doctor.
-. A geometrical diet, this is a key to your health. It is necessary for all and
at any age...
( a credit: 8-926-233-91-78 call now)
Let's look that we shall eat. Look and remember... And one, and two, and
three... What was remembered most of all? Quickly, not thinking, quickly.
- A line.
- The good fellow... All is clear. To you, my dear, it is necessary to eat a
spaghetti, a spring onion and sausages.
- And tomatoes?
- And round I urgently do not recommend you.
Credit: The life is full of dangers
The text:
Hello, and I am with you again, the adviser for extreme situations, Petr
Petrovich Adrenaline. There can be everything with you in life, everything.
Credit: above film worked
( further the not readable, quickly flying by text)
The end
The text: On air is reality-show "Survive". Here again, with us in studio six
participants of reality-show: one, two, three, four, five, six. All I see, all
here, everyone want to receive the main prize of our reality-show. The main
prize of ours reality-show - a hundred thousand dollars! Yes, yes, my dear
televiewers, you have not misheard, I have named this sum. Hundred thousand
dollars! I start to be mad, when I hear this sum. As I wanted, that they were
mine, but they will get to someone from them, from these six... To him or him...
To him will not get - he is too sickly. So conditions of our reality-show
(further words merge in noise) and as though it would not be desirable our
visitors to destroy all participants of our reality-show, they can not make it
because only one participant in one tv-show is destroyed. So, you yet were not
frightened, and I have already become covered with hoarfrost for fear because
today to us on a visit there came brothers Gljuchko.
So they come into studio, approach to the participant number one. Impact. Twist.
The good fellow. So, the participant number two. He has jumped on a ceiling. It
is not possible, but he has made it.
The participant number three. Where you hit a head dumb bunny? He punches a hole
in a floor and falls downwards. The participant number four. And - a-a, ouch.
The participant number four leaves our reality-show. To participants five and
six has strongly had luck , these monsters Gljuchko had not time to reach them.
So, up to a meeting in one week in reality-show "Survive". In one week to us
Eugeny Gatrusjan on a visit will come. Good-bye.
The text:
- Welcome! On air my television quiz show "Send the regards". Shortly I shall
remind rules of my television quiz show.
The participant correctly answered on my first question receives an incentive
prize as transfer of greetings to the relatives. The participant correctly
answered on my second question receives an incentive prize as transfer of
greetings to the relatives and friends. Well, and correctly answered my third
question receives mega-opportunity, superchance to send the regards to whom was.
So meet... the participant at number one - Martyn.
- I am Arsenii.
- Excuse, excuse me, Arsenii. So, Arsenii... Arsenii... Attentively listen to
my first question... How old are you? Yes or not?
- What?
- Incorrectly... And now I shall sing to you a song:
"The unfamiliar star Shines..."
Credits final

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